Thursday, May 1, 2008

Please label me

I started reading Matt's blog yesterday, and while a whole lot of it is religious and therefore not particularly applicable to my world view (although very enlightening in the mindset of a gay Christian), I thought that the most recent post, about coming out of the closet, was very interesting. Why do people feel the need to come out? Why is being gay such an important part of one's identity that everybody needs to know it in order to understand us better? Here's the majority of the comment that I left on the blog:

I definitely think that it is a very important moment when one takes upon themselves the culture label of “gay,” even more so than when they discover their attraction to members of the same sex. More often than not, it is that which makes us different from mainstream society, that which is counter to what is considered normal (and some may argue good), which defines us. For example, if I were to describe myself in as few words as possible, I would use the term ‘gay.’ I would not think to mention the fact that I am a white, middle class male, even though these are actually essential contributors to my identity. Being gay, because it is counter to the mainstream, is a very powerful cultural label that tends to pervade the entirety of one’s life. The decision to take on such a label is not an easy one, and to a certain extent, I can understand a person who wishes to remain in the closet, or who may say “I’m not gay, I just like to have sex with men.” I think that this is part of the power of pride parades: they are an affirmation of one’s acceptance of the gay (or, to be more politically correct, queer) cultural label.

Of course, this is all from my own perspective, as a gay man. Coming out as a lesbian, bisexual, transgendered person, or any other variant of queer has its own connotations and cultural trappings. Often, I believe that the cultural labels that define us also actually shape us, pushing us into polarized positions of "gay" or "straight," when the actual identity may be much more fluid, which is an opinion that has been voiced by many people for years. Regardless, I do choose to take on the identity of a gay man, and I recognize that I embody many of the cultural stereotypes of the label, whether that is my natural disposition (haha, if such a thing exists) or a learned behavior.

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